2013.12.20

My mother-in-law died of complications from Huntington’s disease. She was mid-to-late sixties at the time.

My wife is in her mid to late 40s.

She is descending into Huntington’s disease.

Everyday I lie and tell her that is not the case. I tell her she shows no signs of having the disease. I tell her even if she does have HD, she won’t show symptoms until much later in life.

She quit her job because she lost a couple nights’ sleep. I told her that was a fine decision.

She has tacked up notes all over the house: “Don’t be sad” “Always turn off the stove” “Park the car in the garage”. I ignore these notes.

She sleeps in a closet where I’ve nailed mattresses and pillows to the walls so she won’t hit her head anymore. I pretend this is normal.

She frequently bumps things, spills things, breaks things, stumbles, and you have to be very careful when handing her anything. I assure her that everybody is clumsy. It’s no big deal.

None of these things, I tell her, are signs of Huntington’s Disease.

I don’t know what else to do.

My wife has made it very clear that she is not now nor will she ever be willing to take medication to address any “mental” illness she may be suffering. Those pills, she is sure, have side effects much worse than the diseases they are supposed to treat. Also, she wouldn’t want her personality to change.

I have tried explaining that Huntington ’s disease in not a “mental” illness - it is physical, like diabetes. She would take insulin if she were diabetic, yes?

No.

She will not treat the disease so the only thing I can do is manage her behavior to the best of my ability. I’ve been doing alright for a number of years so far, but I’m afraid we’re now approaching end-game.